Monday, January 26, 2015

This thing called Love...

I wrote on my vision board the word Love!  That one little word...those 4 little letters are the HARDEST to understand. 

2014 much to my heart was pleasantly surprised.  A guy who looked and gazed at me with what I called such admiration and love.  It was a struggle for me to receive it.  I ran and hid from it for song long.  We talked about it, spent time together...I was scared to let my heart be completely open to it.  I took baby steps into it, at times I stood still from the fear and at times, I did a full out retreat. 

And here it is now 3 months have gone by, and the gaze of admiration, the gaze of love is gone.  At first I was okay, well at least I told myself I was okay.  I prayed, I said God you are in control.  I have feelings for this one, I really felt I could be in love with this one, and I am trusting that things will work out in time.  That's where I left things...Trust in God, though I missed seeing him, and talking to him.  I am trusting that he will come back to me.  No he is not with someone else, but is currently out the state, something he does, he has family there, and his kids are there.  3 months he has been gone..and what broke me of all things? 

A picture, a simple picture of him with his song, hanging on the wall at his mom's house.  I have been so messed up and jacked up since seeing it. heavy.  The matters of my heavy. 

I just truly hope Love find it's way back to me. 


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