Friday, May 3, 2013

A perspective change...

I have always hated taking pictures. I try to avoid them at all cost. I am overly critical of myself so in every picture I judge, I criticize, I put myself down. Always full of shame, always embarrassed. I did not like the me that I see.

After being on this journey of taking control of my health, I know in my head much progress has been made but when I look at me very little progress do I see. I still judge, criticize and put down and still don't like the person I see.

So here we years years into a journey and here is a picture of me. The first of pictures where I first see the change that has happened to me. My first thought was not a thought of judging and criticizing, it was a though of awe and realization . I saw something I had never seen before, A changed me. I even said to myself that I looked pretty in the picture. Words that have never been thought of and definitely not words ever spoken from my mouth. But the thought came and I hope in time that that thought will take a place in heart and become truth I can embrace. Yes a truth I can embrace...after so many years of not liking the person I see...I want a truth I can embrace.

I can't stop crying! I'm typing on my phone and in tears. I don't even know if these are tears of joy or tears of sadness...but years none the less. I feel like today, well last night May 2nd, the hate I have for myself was changing. I never thought that my self perception would or could change. This is truly so shocking for me. I never expected this, never knew this was possible.

My Destination was fitness and HIS destination is transformation ...inside out and in all areas. Continue to change my mind, my thoughts, and my heart. Transform me!


MissHaneefa said...

This is a monumental moment in your journey. You've got this!

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